From the Heart of a Mother

motherWow, being a mom, it’s one of life’s greatest gifts. It’s part of God’s training ground, holy ground. It’s where I’m learning to give selflessly because I now care about these other souls more than I care about my own.  As we who wear the title daily, it’s something I don’t ever want to take lightly or for granted. Any truthful mom can tell you, it’s a lot of sleepless nights, it’s sweat and tears, endless dirty laundry and in ways, like a perpetual garage sale (same old stuff day after day).

When I think of mothering, I think of the birthing process itself.  Nothing glamorous about it.  It’s painful, it’s messy and it makes a woman vulnerable and exposed in every sense of the word.  Something the size of a small watermelon squeezes through your birth canal and is placed upon your chest. A new life, it’s crying, it’s a bloody mess, and instantly it’s needy. A new little life and their little heart is now beating against yours. It’s bloody and beautiful all in the same time, and always a miracle.  Suddenly I am responsible for another life, it’s a bit frightening.  I was inexperienced at this mothering thing, and suddenly without adequate preparation, I am thrust into this dynamic role.

I see the reflection of God in motherhood! I see that being a good mom requires dying to self for the sake of another. It’s putting your child’s needs before your own.  It’s giving when you feel like you’ve got nothing left to give. It’s loving, even when you feeling like at times, strangling. It’s learning how to deal graciously in every given situation. I love being a mom because I’m learning how to be a better person through the process.  It’s God’s training grounds in selflessness and grace.  I’m not there yet, I make tons of mistakes, I blow it all the time and in those tough times, I’m thankful for that grace, unending grace.

One thing I know for certain, is that children are a precious gift from God (Psalm 127:3). It’s my heart’s desire to do well with what I’ve been given and I can only do that through his grace.  I’m thankful that Jesus, the perfect parent stands with arms outstretched for every weakness, every failure and every need that I have.  It is through his grace and in my weakness that he is shown strong (2 Corinthians 12:9).

I’m thankful that I can allow him to continue to parent me and I parent my own children. I see my role as a child in the mothering process.  A child of the most high God. I am a dependent, dependent upon my Abba God to help me in this parenting role. He often uses my own children to teach me powerful lessons.  He shows me how their eyes are constantly on me for leading and that is a grave responsibility and some serious accountability.  Because I am human, I am weak and I fall short in every possible way, EVERYDAY! And for that I’m thankful for those outstretched arms that paid the price for me.  For the life given for mine, and bloody mess turned into a perfect sacrifice.

I’m thankful for the triumphs of motherhood but also for the tough stuff.  Because it’s in the tough stuff that God continues to teach me, that’s it’s not about me.  He molds me and want’s me to let go of my own ways and adopt his ways of doing things. It’s in the letting go that I am being set free.  Free to trust in him more, free to fail and to let him fill the in the gaps where I am lacking. My children are His. They are only on loan to me for a little while, and it’s by his divine grace and that through the process of mothering, he is shaping my heart while helping me to shape their’s. I hold get to hold their hands for a little while, but it’s my desire that He will hold their’s hearts forever.

Father God thank you for my children.  Thank you for the blessing that they are to me.  Help me to be the kind of mother you want me to be.  I know the greatest gift we can give our children is to be parents who are in love with you.  Forgive me for the times I so often fail you and them.  Help me always to point them to you. Thank you for your unending love and limitless grace and for the price you paid on Calvary.  You are an awesome God. To you be the glory both now and forever. AMEN

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